Week 18: Laying down the burden of shame

Devotional readings focused on Psalm 25, 31, and 34.

Meditation

Skip to the Bible readings and reflection questions

Midlife sometimes feels like a journey through indignities. While growing older is better than the alternative, it's not always comfortable. Whether it's because of wrinkles, menopause weight gain, or just the feeling that one is invisible to the rest of society at this age, everyday life can take on a vague shadow of embarrassment for reasons not entirely in our control.

But what if the feeling goes beyond petty concerns over our appearance, and what if a sense of real shame takes hold? What if life doesn't turn out as we expect? Or we fail to accomplish our dreams? And what if--even more difficult--a family member is struggling or has made destructive decisions? It is almost impossible for us as moms or daughters, nieces, aunts, or cousins not to blame ourselves for all that has gone wrong, even for things over which we have had no control. One of the frequent results of significant disappointment is a heavy burden of grief, self doubt and shame.

We are not alone. King David feared the shame that accompanied failure and searing disappointment, especially when he thought his situation might be the subject of public discussion. In fact, Psalm 25 directly adresses his struggle in dealing with shame. The first verses set the theme:

To You, O LORD, I lift up my soul.

O my God, in You I trust,

Do not let me be ashamed;

Do not let my enemies exult over me.

Psalm 25:1-2 (NAS)

The antidote to shame

David was no stranger to public shame. He brought it on himself over his affair with Bathsheba. But he also experienced the stress of shame at the hands of others. His own son Absolom publicly usurped his throne, causing David to flee his own palace for the wilderness. Yet God was not ashamed to call David a man after His own heart. How gracious of God to remember David for his faithfulness and not his failures and losses! God wants to do the same for us.

Like David, we do not have to live our midlife years with a legacy of undeserved shame. In fact, God wants to be our shelter and our confidence no matter our circumstances. The first five verses of Psalm 25 encourage us to address the shame we sometimes feel in four ways:

Be honest with God. Consider David's opening words: "To You, O Lord, I lift up my soul" (Psalm 25:1, NASB). Is there anything more honest than holding up our hurt and humiliated souls to the Lord for his examination and healing touch? Honesty with God (and ourselves) about what we are experiencing is the starting point for recovery.

Reaffirm your trust in God. Verse two contains David's declaration of trust in God's power to address the shame he feels. These are not just words of hopefulness. David is stating positively that his total confidence is in God and nothing else. How often we say we trust, but we still attempt to solve the problem ourselves! The kind of trust David is declaring is the kind that gives the problem to God and leaves it there.

Wait for God to act.  Verse three promises that no one who waits for God will be dishonored. The idea of the word translated "wait" is a sense of abiding in relationship while remaining faithful in hope. For me, this waiting requires daily, sometimes hourly, prayer where I release my shame to God and transfer it to His capable hands.

Remain teachable. Sometimes it's hard to want to keep studying the Bible when we are living through a challenging time, but David reminds us in verses four and five that we need to keep learning. Sometimes the challenging times lead to exponential growth if we keep pursuing a deeper knowledge of God. Whether through personal study or with friends in a group Bible study, as we stay in the Word we will stay encouraged.

That's just a quick tour through the first five verses of Psalm 25. The rest of the psalm and the other two psalms in this week's readings offer even more encouragement to us. If you are wrestling with shame in your midlife journey, or if you are just struggling spiritually right now, I encourage you to dive into the readings and reflection questions this week as we seek to trust God for His protection and encouragement.

Readings and Reflection Questions

Monday's reading: Psalm 25

Read Psalm 25: 1-7 and 11. What requests does David make of God in verses 6, 7, and 11? What bearing might these requests have on David's struggle with shame? How do you think God wants you to deal with any guilt in the past?

Tuesday's reading: Psalm 25

Read Psalm 25:8-22. What do you learn about God in verses 8-10? What do you learn about the righteous person in verses 12-14? What does David request from God in verses 16-22? How do those requests align with your heart's desires?

Wednesday's reading: Psalm 31

Read Psalm 31:1-8. David declares that God is his refuge. What specific things does David declare God has done for him or is to him? Make a list. How might these acts of God encourage you in your own life?

Thursday's reading:  Psalm 31

Psalm 31:9-14. In these verses David pours out His grief to God. Read it thoughtfully and compare David's thoughts to your own. What laments do you have about your own lived experiences? Consider verse 14. How does David's declaration of trust in God answer his own verses of lament?

Friday's reading: Psalm 31

Read Psalm 31:15-18. What is David requesting God to do about his situation? Construct a prayer asking God to work in your own life. Finish reading Psalm 31. David finishes this psalm with praise. Spend a few minutes praying these verses to God and praising Him for his goodness and faithfulness.

Weekend reading: Psalm 34

Instead of giving in to shame, David boasts in the Lord in this psalm. Read the psalm and put together a list of things that God has done or has promised that you can boast about when shame or doubt threaten to discourage you.