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What's your midlife mindset?

Can you believe it's almost February? The first month of 2024 sped by! Our family calendar included a significant event which made it possible for most of us to gather for several days of celebration. What a gift!

Along with the celebration and all the preparation that went into it, I had to press pause on some of my goals for 2024. Did you set some goals at the beginning of the year? If so, I hope you have kept on while I've fallen behind!

But there is one goal that I have been consistently working on even through all the celebration and accompanying happy chaos: keeping tabs on my perspective. I want to develop a positive perspective on life that sees possibilities for success and God's goodness--rather than impending tragedy--when life becomes challenging.

We need this mindset in midlife more than ever. Most of us are facing more stressors than we ever have--we are the sandwich generation after all! We've lived through the stress of raising children, and now we are adjusting to significant changes to our roles as moms. We are learning that we need to adjust our relationships with our parents in order to help them manage their senior years successfully. We are dealing with hormonal fluctuations and the onset of age-related physical changes taking place in our own bodies, and we are still trying to keep our marriages strong, healthy and fulfilling. Studies indicate that women in midlife experience more stress than women in younger or older categories. This stress adds up and can start to affect our physical health as well as our spiritual and emotional health. According to researchers, it is imperative to develop coping skills and strategies for dealing with stress during the midlife years as this can prevent the onset of depression as well as physical illness.

Here is how I'm working on building a mindset that is stress resilient: If you read my post on goals for 2023, you know that I believe developing habits is a better way to accomplish goals than making resolutions. (This report from the UK says that 64% of us abandon our resolutions by February!) Small changes that become daily habits lead to more successful longterm change.

But when choosing which habits to work on, we also need to think about whether we are trying to create negative or positive habits. Last year, one of my goals was to share an average of one meal or cup of coffee each week with a friend. That was successful! My other goal--never laying in bed looking at my phone or reading a book in the morning--was less successful. I still have a lot of work to do on that habit

I find it interesting that my "do more of this" habit was easier to develop than my "do less of this" habit. And apparently, I'm not the only one who experiences that. Forbes magazine published an interesting article that says we are more likely to stick to goals that involve doing something rather than goals that involve giving up something. I suspect we prefer goals that focus on "more of this" because they add richness to our lives. "Less of this" goals take away something we probably really enjoy. I have to admit that I love a lazy morning spent in bed!

This year, the mindset habits I want to build into my life follow those same lines of positivity: I want to practice mindset habits that enable me to approach life's hardships with a perspective shaped by faith in our all-powerful and all-loving God. I want to see obstacles and hardships as challenges to overcome, as ways to grow spiritually stronger, and as the sovereign work of God in my life.

Here are the mindset habits I'm working on in 2024:

  • Praying first, problem-solving later

  • Choosing faith in God's good plan over fear

  • Thinking life-giving, faith-filled thoughts rather than letting my mind enter a spiral of negativity

  • Caring for my bodily needs so I can weather stress better physically

  • Cultivating relationships with people who will support and encourage these positive mindset habits

My prayer is that these habits of mind will help me develop a Godly perspective on life that will carry me through this crazy midlife season and into my elder years with grace and dignity. I am more convinced than ever that midlife is not a time to stop growing in maturity, wisdom, and faith. God wants more for us--and more of us--in this season!

Over the next few weeks, I'll be writing about how I'm working on these habits on a practical, daily basis. Check back in next week! And please reach out and let me know how you are working on handling life's challenges. You can email me at or put your thoughts in the comments section below. I would love to hear from you!


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