Week 19: Tending your garden

Devotional readings on Psalm 26 about focusing on God's purpose for us.

Meditation

Skip to the Bible readings and reflection questions

Last week I finally got my fingers in the dirt. I only had time to prepare a few pots on my back deck, but now they are ready to receive some new seasonal herbs and bring our little slice of the outdoors back to life again.

If you are a plant lover, you understand the attraction of gardening in the spring! You look forward to reviving your flower or vegetable beds, and you can't wait to pick out some new vaieties to try in this year's garden. If you have the space around your home, you probably invest quite a bit of time into making your own yard beautiful.

One thing we don't usually do, however, is spend much time working in our neighbor's yard. Hopefully, they are pretty good at keeping their own place looking nice, and even if they aren't, our interference is not likely to win friends or create any lasting change!

The same holds true for midlife. We might have some influence over the lives of others in this season of life, but the only planting, cultivating, and weeding we can do is in our own lives. This week's psalm gives us some clear direction about the kind of growth we should start cultivating in our middle-aged souls.

The key passage this week is Psalm 26, and while reading it I was struck by David's use of the phrase "my integrity." In the very first verse, David introduced the concept of ownership over his own integrity:

Vindicate me, LORD, for I have walked in my integrity,

And I have trusted in the LORD without wavering.

Psalm 26:1, NASB

David also finished this psalm with another declaration about his integrity:

But as for me, I will walk in my integrity;

Redeem me, and be gracious to me.

Psalm 26:11, NASB

In the middle of Psalm 26, David gave a list of the life principles he was committed to following: He declares that he has believed and lived out God's truth, he doesn't hang out with liars or evil people, and he has carefully maintained his innocence.

I find two things very interesting about David's use of "my integrity" as well as his list of life principles. First, we know that David didn't always live up to God's standards, so he must have been intentional about confessing his sin to God and making things right with the people he wronged. That's a great example for us!

Secondly, I find it interesting that he didn't include anyone else in his declarations of integrity. For David, integrity meant his own standing before God, a standing that wasn't affected by what the people around him did or didn't do. He acknowledged that other people didn't live up to God's standards, but David's focus was simply on his own relationship with God. He knew where he stood with God and declared,

My foot stands on a level place;

In the congregations I shall bless the Lord.

Psalm 26:12, NASB

Reading this with the eyes of a midlife mom, I initially felt put off by David's recitation of his own principles for living. Here's what got to me: For years I have been responsible for teaching my kids to be kind and considerate to others, to make good choices, and to follow God. I found it hard to drop that mindset when reading this psalm. I couldn't help but think that David should have used "we" instead of "I" to signify that his family was following God!

But then I wondered, what if, in God's eyes, I am no longer responsible for their decisions and only responsible for myself?

That's a profound mindshift for a midlife mom, and it has been a sticky transition point for me. As midlife moms, we can spend an awful lot of time engrossed in our adult kids' decision-making processes, and we can spend even more time trying to mitigate the bad decisions they make.

But regardless of how well our adult children are doing in life, I am learning that over-focusing on grown kids can distract me from what my focus should be at this point in life: my own integrity.

The word integrity in Psalm 26 doesn't mean my own level of honesty or truthfulness. It means completeness, fullness, innocence, and simplicity of character. In other words, my integrity is based on whether I am cultivating God's purpose for my life and my own virtues, on whether I am weeding out the parts of me that don't align with God's character while planting and fertilizing the qualities that He wants me to have.

If I am sidetracked by my kids, my friends, or my circumstances from what God intends for me in this midlife journey, then I am not walking in my own integrity. Instead, I am allowing weeds to spring up in my own garden while focusing on the weeds in someone else's yard!

I know that the decisions our adult children make in life can give us both reason to celebrate and to mourn. Keeping myself focused on my own spiritual growth doesn't mean that I don't care, that I don't love, or that I don't pray. But it does mean that my priority is God's calling and purpose for me in this season, and there is freedom in knowing that.

This week we are going to explore what it means to work on our own integrity as midlife women. Below, you will find six Bible passages to explore and some reflection questions to guide your study as you think about what God's purpose for you in midlife might be and how you can start to grow into it. Let me know your thoughts in the comments below!

Readings and Reflection Questions

Monday's reading: Psalm 26

Make a list of the declarations that David makes about himself. Then, make a list of the requests David has for God. How do those lists reflect your midlife experience? Reread Psalm 26:12 and pray for God to put you on a level, stable place in your life.

Tuesday's reading: I Kings 9:1-9

In this passage, God describes David's integrity to his son, Solomon. What promise did God make to Solomon if he followed in his father's footsteps? What would happen if Solomon failed? What does this tell us about the importance of taking responsibility for ourselves and our walk with God?

Wednesday's reading: Psalm 119

Read Psalm 119:1-8. What actions does the psalmist encourage us to take in developing our walk of faith with God? What are the results of pursuing a life of integrity according to God's Word?

Thursday's reading: Psalm 119

Psalm 119:9-16. Like David in Psalm 26, in this passage the psalmist makes declarations about his faithfulness to God. What declarations does he make? What declarations can you make about your own life and walk of faith? What practices might you add based on your reading this week?

Friday's reading: Galatians 6:1-10

This passage describes the delicate balance between taking responsibility for our relationship with God and using our influence to encourage fellow belivers in their walk. As you read, list out what we should do to help others and what we are responsible for in our own lives. Put these lists in columns so you can compare them. What conclusions do you draw from comparing these two lists?

Weekend reading: Jude 1:20-25

This passage also describes our responsiblity for ourselves and our duties to others. What are our responsibilities to ourselves as described in this passage? What promise does God make about Jesus' power in our lives in verse 24? How does this passage give you hope for the future even if you fail sometimes?