Week 29: Facing the unexpected in midlife
- cindystumme
- Sep 5
- 5 min read
Reflections on Psalms 44 & 73 and what they teach us about reconciling our feelings with our faith when midlife presents us with profound disappoints.
Did you think midlife would be those golden years where you reaped the bountiful harvest of all your hard work and faithfulness in years past? If you are experiencing that right now, praise God! If you are not, praise God anyway, but read on.
I engage with a few empty nest Facebook groups, and one post in particular pops up several times a day on all the groups. I’ll summarize: “My kids were my life and I gave them everything I could. I wasn’t perfect, but I was there for them. Now, one (or more) refuse to visit or even communicate, and I’m wondering how I’m going to survive this. I am so depressed and heartbroken, I can barely function.” Everytime I read a post like this, I feel the grief and the bewilderment of a parent who never saw this particular tragedy heading her way. She is unprepared to deal with the collapse of her family, and she has no idea how to move forward in life.
Somewhere along the line, many of us (myself included) must have developed the expectation that our reward for faithfulness and good behavior in the first half of life would be delivered in the second half. Just writing that, I have to chuckle because it helps me see that I might be acting just a little entitled . . . Jesus clearly taught us that our reward wasn’t coming in this world but the next!
Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me.
Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven . . .
(Matthew 5:11-12b, NIV, emphasis added)
There’s no doubt that it would be enjoyable to rest on our laurels when we turn 50, but nowhere in scripture is that promised to us. In fact, our psalms this week indicate that the opposite is more likely to happen.
In Psalm 44, the psalmist records that he knows God and knows of His awesome works and wonders, yet is still experiencing personal defeat:
All day long my dishonor is before me,
And my humiliation has overwhelmed me,
Because of the voice of him who reproaches and reviles,
Because of the presence of the enemy and the avenger.
(Psalm 44:15-16, NASB)
Let’s put that in the context of a struggling midlife mom:
All day long, I am ashamed because my adult child has told me I was a poor parent, but I can’t go back and try again.
My humiliation over all my failures as a younger person is overwhelming and I’m struggling to trust God with my past.
I’m grieving because my boss is telling me I’m not doing well at my job but I really struggle with menopausal brain fog.
I’m humiliated because my health is not what I want it to be and everything I see on social media suggests
that it’s because of my past choices.
Sadly, these scenarios are not uncommon in midlife. But they are also not unexpected by our wise and loving Heavenly Father. What is His answer to our midlife struggles? We must release our expectations and allow God to shape our future according to His will. Psalm 73 reminds us that if we don’t release our demands for reward in this life, we are living in an unenlightened state:
When my heart was embittered
And I was pierced within,
Then I was senseless and ignorant;
I was like a beast before You.
(Psalm 73: 21-22, NASB)
Have you ever been so frustrated that words failed you? The words translated senseless and beast in the verse refer to being like a cow, probably one bawling in frustration over not being fed yet! Certainly, that’s not a flattering description, but if we are honest we will admit that life has driven us to acting in ways that might possibly be described similarly. . . The psalmist himself is giving us quite an authentic picture of how he was dealing with disappointment! Thank God, he didn’t stay in that state:
Nevertheless I am continually with You;
You have taken hold of my right hand.
With Your counsel You will guide me,
And afterward receive me to glory.
(Psalm 73:23-24, NASB)
Did you notice that first line? Nevertheless I am continually with You . . . Even when our psalmist was acting like an angry beast, God never left him alone. It’s no different with us when we are God’s children. He patiently takes our hand and walks with us, giving counsel and guidance. And someday, not in midlife but in the next life, we will experience His promise of glory.
Friend, if you are dealing with disappointment and frustration today, give it to God! Empty your hands of what you are trying to cling to, and let God take it from you and lead you into His ways. This week as we study Psalms 44 and 73 together, I invite you to scroll down to the bottom of the page and download the “Prayer of Release” PDF I’ve included in this blog post. Let’s pray it daily together as an act of faith in God’s goodness even when midlife is not what we hoped it would be. Let me know in the comments if you have found it helpful!
Daily Readings and Reflections:
Monday’s Reading: Psalm 44
Read verses 1-8. What does the psalmist remember about the past that gives him hope? What do you remember? What does the psalmist declare about who God is? Can you make the same declaration? Pray the “Prayer of Release” provided below.
Tuesday’s Reading: Psalm 44
Read verses 9-26. Do you relate to the psalmist’s lament? What are you struggling with in midlife that came as an unpleasant surprise? In verses 17-18, the psalmist declares that he has been faithful to God. Can you declare this too? Are there some areas of your faith and practice that need strengthening? Pray the “Prayer of Release” provided below.
Wednesday’s Reading: Psalm 73
Read verses 1-9. What did the psalmist say had almost tripped him up in his faith walk? Why is it so tempting to complain about these things? Pray the “Prayer of Release” again, today, and release the things that make you complain about others.
Thursday’s Reading: Psalm 73
Read verses 10-20. In these verses, the psalmist contemplates how easy it would be to give up his faith. What changed his mind? What opportunities for worship and fellowship with God’s people are you taking advantage of in order to keep your faith strong? Pray the “Prayer of Release” today and focus on what keeps you from fellowship with God and His people.
Friday’s Reading: Psalm 73
Read verses 21-28. When all other expectations have failed, what does the psalmist cling to alone? What would that look like if you lived that principle out in your own life? Pray the “Prayer of Release” while focusing on making God the focal point of your midlife journey.
Weekend Reading: John 16:33
Take a few minutes to memorize this verse so that you can quote it when life goes sideways. Pray again the “Prayer of Release” while focusing on the peace that comes through knowing Jesus.
Want to read more Bible verses about knowing Jesus Christ as Savior? Here's a good place to start:
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